Familie dåbskjolen, hvor der nu mangler noget

Familie dåbskjolen, hvor der nu mangler noget

I sidste uge var det min 3. søns dåbsdag, og jeg kom til at tænke på dåbskjolen, hvor der nu fysisk mangler et stykke, for det klippede min mor af, da Kaspian døde. Men lad mig begynde med begyndelsen.

Dåbskjolen er en familiedåbskjole. Min mor syede sin brudekjole om til en dåbskjole, da hun fik mig for snart mange år siden. Jeg, og mine tre søskende, er alle døbt i den. Efter hver dåb broderede min mor vores navn ind nederst på kjolen. Jeg har altid tænkt, at mine børn skulle gentage den tradition, og jeg tror mine søskende tænker det samme.

Da vi ventede Kaspian, var det derfor en selvfølge, at han selvfølgelig skulle døbes i den kjole. Men sådan kom det ikke til at gå. Kaspian blev nøddøbt få øjeblikke efter, at han var født. Dåbskjole var det sidste, der var i vores tanker i det øjeblik. Ja, i det hele taget er en dåbskjole jo et fuldstændig irrelevant og ligegyldigt emne i sådan en situation.

Min mor havde selvfølgelig også glædet sig til, at hendes første barnebarn skulle døbes i familiedåbskjolen, og det stod lysende klart for hende, at selvom der kom flere børn, der ville blive døbt i den kjole, så ville Kaspian altid mangle. Så hun spurgte mig i dagene mellem Kaspians død og begravelse, om det var OK, at hun klippede et stykke af dåbskjolen og lavede det om til en lille pude og broderede hans navn på, så Kaspian kunne ligge med hovedet på den i kisten. På den måde kunne han hvile sit hoved på lidt af den kjole, som hans kommende søskende og kusiner og fætre skulle bære til dåben, og samtidig ville kjolen fysisk symbolisere, at ligesom der manglede noget af kjolen, så mangler der også noget i familien.

Sådan blev det. Kjolen har været brugt tre gange siden, alle navne er broderet ind, og så mangler der en firkant og et stykke blonde nederst på kjolen. Der er et hul, der ikke kan eller skal lappes. Ligesom der altid vil være et hul i vores familie. Så symbolsk og så smukt. En gestus fra min mor som jeg altid vil være hende taknemlig for. 

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Dåbskjole

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    Sikke en smuk historie, og en virkelig smuk gestus fra din mor. Jeg står netop og afventer en dåbskjole som jeg har bestilt, som min datter skal døbes i. Desværre er min egen dåbskjole gået tabt, efter jeg mistede min mor i en alder af 2 år, morfar kunne aldrig finde den efterflytningen fra huset, men jeg mistænker, at ligesom min såkaldte far stjal og solgte min dåbsgave, så har han gjort det samme med dåbskjolen. Heldigvis at jeg kom i min morfars varetægt, min eneste familie jeg havde tilbage, men det ærgrer mig at han aldrig kommer til at opleve min datter og sine kommende oldebørn - hans bortgang kom pludselig og uventet. Nu er der kun Emma og mig, for jeg har valgt at være enemor, men har ønske om flere børn i fremtiden, så jeg ville se hbad andre gjorde i henhold til dåbskjole og gå i arv. Tak for din smukke historie, ønsker dig og din familie alt det bedste.

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